I came across this post on my dear Tumblr dashboard and I instantly laughed out loud, showed it to my roommate, then re-blogged it immediately after liking it. For someone as predominantly logic-based and rational as myself, I cannot deny that the presence of some form of irrational thinking goes hand-in-hand with the lack of a Y-chromosome…or simply the presence of two x-chromosomes (I cannot speak for other sex chromosome mutations). I am the first person to think something out thoroughly and talk myself out of an internal mental freak-out over something simple. I can keep my cool in the craziest of environments and see the gold lining of almost every situation. I have had numerous conversations with my roommate about this and she corroborates my theory of what I shall refer to as ‘The Female Irrationale’. We came to the agreement that 99.99% of women bear this fundamental psychosis in response to developing genuine romantic and intimate feelings of attachment to a man. Of course, I am using the term “psychosis” very loosely and without regards to psychiatry/medicine. Additionally, this large percentage is further broken down into subcategories. There are the women that exhibit the general symptoms of over-thinking/paranoia, creating and believing worst case scenarios to be reality, and random fits of self-induced depression and catharsis in response to these happenings. A whopping 92% of the 99.99% of women exhibit these symptoms and this is paradoxically normal and almost inevitable to SOME extent. Nonetheless, there exists this remaining 8% of my aforementioned 99.99%. This 8% is the group that gives the ‘crazy’ connotation to women- well females in general. These are the ones who radically act upon their self-induced delusions. Moreover, these are the women that I can barely defend, if at all! A Western woman who says she does not bear this Double-X Psychosis is either in that 8% or in the .01% that I have yet to observe, hear about, or encounter. Anyways, since i will admit to being in the 92%, I will only elaborate on that behalf. First and foremost, I want to make it clear that the symptoms exhibited by my percentage of women are usually not erratic or anything of concern, If anything, they are defense mechanisms and just our brains functioning…in hyper-drive. I confess, the extent to which my female irrationale takes places is due having fallen in and, thankfully, out of love with a toxic guy. Most girls have been in a toxic situation and this can be a contributing factor to our irrational thoughts and mental processing (another subcategory of the 92%and 8%). What makes this even more interesting is the fact that I, my roommate, and countless other females are aware that these thoughts are indeed irrational and even exaggerations of reality. I can say that the theme of my female irrationale is “expect the worst, but hope for the best”. To some degree it seems almost counter-intuitive. However, expecting bad is a defense mechanism against the rawness of getting hurt again. If it happens, it will still be painful and disheartening; but there will be some solace in not being totally blind-sided. The “hope for the best” aspect is what keeps us optimistic and able to love another man and not punish him for the wrongdoing(s) of the previously one(s). This is what fuels my undying belief in ‘happily ever after’ and patience being a virtue. Hope and caution co-exist because one allows to pursue your happiness in spite of past trials & tribulations; while the other allows you to pursue with wisdom, enlightenment, and reinforced values. The caution is what gives to the female irrationale and it is not a bad thing, in most (and ideal) cases. Having my heart shattered and being with a toxic guy in a toxic situation has been a quintessential example of a blessing in disguise. I will elaborate on this in another post. Basically, these irrational thoughts and ideas can be alleviated with reassurance and explicit even-tempered communication on both ends. It sounds cliché and rather textbook, but I see my friends get into extremely volatile arguments with their significant others, which could have EASILY been avoided or handled more peacefully had they just talked it out. I am by no means an expert dater or anything of the sort, but I am a strong endorser and follower of inner-peace and contentment in life. While the female irrationale cannot be extinguished in its entirety, it can be mollified by doings on both sides of a relationship, relinquishing you of self-induced pain and emotionl trauma. In the words of a creator of musical masterpieces, Lana Del Rey, “I am fucking crazy, but I am free.” XOXO
During an episode of insomnia at about 2 a.m., I made this interesting connection while enduring another failed attempt at showing affection towards my roommate’s cat. The question arose: why is it that I insist on showing this cat so much affection and attention when she clearly does not want to be bothered with any of it? Furthermore, why do I feel obligated to show her that I am worthy of redamancy? Nothing concerning cats should get this analytic, but that is what I am best at-over analyzing. Anyway, it dawned on me that this is exactly what happens in relationships (or things of the sort). Just about every female has gone through (or is going through) a phase where guys that appear to not want us or show explicit interest is our ‘type’. We are more drawn to resistance. When something is attractive (or adorable) enough, we latch on to that drop of hope with blind optimism. It is a FACT that almost every girl has joined the cat culture. We do like dogs, but what is it about cats that makes us self-proclaimed “Cat Ladies in Training”? We watch all of these cat vines/videos, re-blog/share/re-tweet memes of cats, and post about something our cats have done. We can all agree that cats are top-notch assholes! There are some cats that are friendly and personable, but they always go back to their natural state of being a prick at some point. Do we get some sort of inexplicable exhilaration from subtle rejection? Is it the possibility of eventual acceptance that allows us to initiate a quick cuddle or hug with a cat just minutes after it has scratched us? Do most girls who love cats compensate for a toxic relationship with a guy by acquiring one that is morally embraced and smoke-screened by fur and purrs? We joke about cats being better than guys, but the only main difference (aside from the whole taxonomic thing) is that we can overpower cats and make them cuddle with us and show [falsely] returned affection by simply cradling them more with added strength. Let’s be honest! We see similar patterns in behavior; I show affection, the cat shows affection for 3 seconds and then it starts pushing me away, I try proving to the cat that I am a great human and deserve redamancy, the cat resists some more, I let it go and say ‘fine, whatever!’, ignore the cat, cat shows affection, I give in, then rinse and repeat. In graduating high school, I graduated from my unconscious inclination for attractive pricks who did not care about me as much as I wanted to believe or as much as I cared for them. Going through that phase of toxic guys makes you appreciate the simple things when they a good guy comes thereafter. Things like “thank you” and “how are you” go a long way now. I have always appreciated people being nice to me, since I am “overly nice”, but now it has been reinforced. Although I found the pinch of heaven sprinkled in hell, I have still transformed that “phase” into my adoration of cats. Could it be that since I am embraced by everyone in every other aspect of life, that simple rejections from a cat keeps me balanced and down to earth? More importantly, why am I able to create such complex thoughts from such a simple organism?…maybe they are just fluffy and girls just want to hug that fluffiness forever. Maybe we just need to enjoy simplicity.